UNBEING
Amid the sounds of busy streets
and the noise of life unfolding,
I long for silence,
the solitude I knew of only in the womb.
I dream to lay my small body,
in the palm of a giant hand
and to feel my mind spill
between its fingers, into the ether.
When I am empty once more,
let that hand release me on a lake,
so I may quietly float on its surface,
while my edges unravel and effervesce.
And when waves disband the foam
left behind by my form,
I yearn for the last bubble to find release
and peace in my unbeing.
EVERYWHERE, ALL AT ONCE
Life marches forward,
seemingly the same
and yet, visible to my wet eye only
are the glitches of this reality.
In this world where you’re gone,
our balcony is like any other,
but your begonias are missing
to add color to the gray concrete.
My hand goes over the same surfaces
yours had wiped for years,
but your absence lives in the dust
that I miss, that your hand never did.
It lives everywhere, your absence,
it’s a shadow that falls on everything
and to look at your spot on the sofa,
is to stare at an eternal eclipse.
Though I have yet to understand
how you can be gone forever,
yet all it takes is the stilling of my thoughts
to feel you everywhere, all at once.
MË NDIEJ
Tash tre vjet po futem në gojën e vdekjes
tu bredh mes dhambve të saj të mermertë
për mu ndal çdo ditë pranë mauzoleut tand
si fmiu në përrallën e Rozafës së murosur.
Diejt e përvjetorit nashta thanë faqet,
po me e zbeh dhimbjen s’kanë boll dritë,
pesha e zisë po më shunë po nuk m’prish punë
se nashta m’sjell ma afër teje.
Po zemra po rreh e po m’zbulon,
e vëndoj dorën mbi gjoks me e ndal pak,
nashta krejt,
“pusho” i them, e nëm
“pusho e lëm ta shoh”
si për inat, ajo rreh edhe ma fort.
Heshtja pëlcet si granatë qelqi,
me të edhe shpresa me qenë prap me ty,
e unë qaj flakë, shkul flokë e çjerr qiej
që u bë kaq kohë e hala s’të gjej.
E tash zemra troket butë mbi bri
prej mrena pëshpërit
me nji za që e njoh shumë mirë
e që duket sikur thotë:
“më ndiej,
më ndiej
më ndiej.”
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